The Chowder War

A deliberately absurd System side-quest on Floor Eight: an eternal coastal war between the Caribbean-Kung-Fu monk seals and the Red Maníseros Land Crabs, who keep spawning in the seals’ holy waters. The quest is granted when Carl examines his first monk-seal totem target, Yago (reward: a Platinum Quest Box), and forces him to pick a side. It boils over when the crabs abandon their even coastal incursions to mass in the lightly-defended south, scrambling toward the water to ‘release their seed’ and choke out the baby seals for good: the migration Carl and Donut stumble into on the road to rescue Samantha.

Book 6 appearances

• Chapter 6 — Granted when Carl examines his first monk-seal totem target, Yago, forcing a choice of sides in the seals-vs-crabs war.
• Chapter 24 — Erupts as the crabs launch a massed southern sneak attack toward the sea.
• Chapter 48 — Its aftermath washes ashore in Florida: a mile-long line of thousands of dead monk seals and land-crab pieces, each tagged “killed in mass combat,” a warning of what waits back in Cuba.
• Chapter 54 — The quest fails as the seals-vs-crabs attrition becomes mutual slaughter; it is replaced by “Hell Comes to Crawler Town” when the Demon Eviction strikes.

Related entries

• Monk Seal Picket Sentry (Creature)
• Red Maníseros Land Crab (Creature)
• Carl (Character)
• The T'Ghee Squad System (Notification)

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