Spunky Jefferson (the Enchanted Nickel Sock)

A sapient weapon Carl loots from Quan Ch's hoard: a blood-crusted tube sock weighted with several dollars of nickels, holding the cursed life force of an unrepentant miser. Twice-upgraded, it bonks like a flail but its damage climbs 1.5% for every near-level kill (already +238%), boosts the wielder's dexterity, can inflict “Bonked,” and has a 20% chance to burst slain mobs into gold. Like all sapient items it talks (“Samantha-level annoying”) but can be muted in inventory. Carl, having no flail, hands it to the elderly stripper-mercenary Dong Quixote, who reveres it as a mythical weapon and chats with it constantly.

Book 6 appearances

• Chapter 64 — Carl pulls it from Quan’s loot and gives it to Dong Quixote, who immediately strikes up a conversation with the sock.

Related entries

• Quan Ch (Character)
• The Penis Parade (Place)
• Carl (Character)
• Mordecai (Character)

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